Dream_O_Dream.

Holla.

I was wanting to write on dream since a while,but couldn't think of anything interesting until today. I was talking to a friend of mine about dreams and how fascinating they are, so later that day I decided to watch Inception. I picked up my spectacles,huge popcorn tub and coke and started watching it at 11 pm last night. As I was watching the movie I saw how Leonardo DiCaprio and his team were manipulating people in their own dreams. Movie didn't really appeal to me,I know you all reading this would have just let a tiny cuss word out at me. ;)

I retired to my bed,made a call and talked about the movie with a close friend who patiently listens to any nonsense criticism I make, suddenly, I saw myself in a mall,people are shopping,kids were going up and down the elevators, I look around and I see June-bug(from the movie Juno) at one of the floors of the mall,now I completely don't remember coming here. June-bug directs me to come to the second floor on left. I keep telling myself this is dream you are never going to see June-bug in real life for sure,and I knew it was a dream. Then I realize this is it, my poorly developed subconscious mind which has no possible information is in target. Woohoo.! I start my adventure,as I reach second floor it changes into a castle and the dragons come out of nowhere, I am wearing an army combat uniform. Jackie Chan comes and gives me special magic powers. I start running around making the ground disappear underneath people. Suddenly some guy on a large rhino charged on me. So I run for life,as I run I turn back to look at the guy's face, Albert Einstein was chasing me with a mace trying to kill me, I hide under the bed. Breathing quickly I close my eyes tightly wishing that he'd leave or die.

I opened my eyes, and I see sand around me. I look around searching for familiar faces, I find a broomstick on ground. I said UP! Swooosh! it came right on my hand, I climb on to it and kick start to finish the dream. I enjoy flying on my comet two sixty so much that I want to show it to my dad, so I go home and I see amma sitting on a chair, so I call her. She turns back, and badooom! She is a ichadhaari naag!! Why did my mother just transfigured into a snake? I run out screaming waving my hands in air,take my broomstick and kick... I kept telling myself its just a dream.! Again, I didn't have my totem to prove it. And with the kick,I fell from the broom. Enters level 2 :- I see Einstein waiting for me,I squish my eyes tightly out of fear and accidentally bump my head under the bed. One more kick. Enters level 1 :- I kept saying,it's just a dream nothing else. June-bug is still there looking at me,that is when I get my final kick. I fall from the 7 storey building, and I am acrophobic.!!  I wake up with a jolt.

Zzz-
Toodles. Happy dreaming. 

The Stupidity Blurting Out Of My Mouth Syndrome.

Recent research suggests that the influence of 'Homer Simpson'  has been steadily on the rise in the past decade or to be more precise since a large number of masses have had access to internet. Scientists are still figuring out the various manifestations of this syndrome in the afflicted, hence the area is quite ripe for research studies.

Definition:

"The-Homer-Simpson-Blurting-Out-Of-My-Syndrome" is defined as a syndrome where an individual is deserted by his/her brain in an attempt to be saved from perpetual mental rape. It is replaced by a pseudo-brain that gives the individual indomitable feeling of self-importance, intelligence and eloquence which is annoying at best. It is to be emphasized that intelligence here is far from reality. The brain has a record of giving dubious advice, sometimes helping to make the right decisions, but often failed spectacularly. Conversation with brain has been found as a major symptom of (HSBOOMMS).

Epidemiology:

1. 1 in 50 people suffer from this syndrome.
2. It affects both men and women, equally.
3. It is more common in the ages of 18-35.
4. The prevalence of complications is around 2%.
5. Mortality rate is 0.01%.

Causative agents:

1. Idiopathic.
2. Slave to various appetites.
3. Mental stimulation.
4. Exposure to the Homer Simpson sitcom.
5. Family history of "Simpson Gene".
6. Informal swellhead.

Signs/Symptoms:

1. Verbosity and Loquaciousness; the patient is prone to attacks of verbal diarrhea which is beyond the understanding of a common man.
2. Despite profound and serious verbal diarrhea, the patient will not make any sense. It will seem like they are babbling.
3. The patient will have a constipated look on the face in an attempt to look reasonable and intelligent while spewing poop out of the mouth.
4. The patient has a remarkable memory for big shots like "Albert Einstein,Madam Marie Curie and the likes .
5. These patients are always in a state of denial about their condition.
6. These patients may have alcohol problem, exposure to radioactive waste, repetitive cranial trauma.
7. They can sometimes string together words and call it “creative writing”.

Investigations:

1. Brain Stimulation Test: The test result will show the absence of grey matter but the presence of  fibrosed and opaque areas simulating as a brain. 
2. Culture Verbal Contents: This will confirm the patient’s verbosity and ridiculousness.

Treatment:

1. Counsel the patient: The patient needs to realize that this is a brain disorder and the first stage to recovery after all is acceptance. The patient needs to be be counselled properly.
2. Tranquilizers: Though, sometimes, counselling is the only treatment that is required, severe cases of the syndrome need medication as well. 
3. Surgery: If medical treatment fails, surgery can be done. The surgical techniques revolve around puncturing the patient’s carotid artery. It only takes a few seconds and no sterilization is required.  Or a simple Brain transplant surgery.  Both surgery has shown a remarkable success rate.

Complications:

1. Extreme paranoia
2. Narcissistic Personality Disorder
3. Conversion Disorder.

Truce- 

Iyer Sneha.

Living the life called 'Kachha limbu'

Before I start to scribble on my virtual note pad I would like to wish all of you making a serious effort to read my blog a very happy new year. :)

As I begin to pen down my thoughts on to the virtual world I sure hope many of you must know what "kaccha limbu' mean,and for those of you who don't know, it's a Hindi slang used to call some one who is amateur at anything; usually used for a kid. I being the youngest born in my family am very much aware of this word. I sure do remember all those beautiful evenings in mid and late 90s when my sweet adorable(not) elder sister would take me to the play grounds with her since amma would have forced her to take me along to play on swings. Oh,she would retort for that,but after the most clichéd sentence because I said so she wouldn't dare to not take me to the near by play ground. :)
Yes,I always did a tiny yessss! aah! I'm going to play with your friends as well dance mentally. :-D

So, as I was dragged toward the nice dusty play ground I always felt what a bunch of unexciting girls to play with dolls and poorly built forts.You must have understood how much it bored me and for the same I was always unwelcome. The annoying game of Hide and Seek, where I would pray till I exhaust that I shouldn't be the one to seek, when I'd hide no one would come and seek me. The freeze tag,oh boy all those 'big grown up kids' played brutally and expected me to pace up.. Hello I'm just 5 and I have tiny legs, my sister would defend me, poor thing she would say "Arey,kaccha limbu hai yaar chodd de."
It made me feel relaxed,those bullies became less hard on me. Back then I didn't realize how much would that word leave an effect on me for the rest of my life. I frequent to mumbai where most of my family lives,so again all of us cousins would play at evening. Now I didn't understand that Shweta(the elder sister in the story) was conspiring against me,the revenge of attending all of her friend's party with me,silly detours to the playground with me and calling it a treasure hunt where the priced treasure would be her life size doll milly.(oh! I always disliked that doll.), eavesdropping to her sleepover with her friends,my trying real hard to get accepted into the amazing girls gang of shweta,priya, and deepa, asking for dhana dal from her and never taking it from the container, those nights where amma would ask her teach me social studies because obviously Shweta was know it all of the family and had to be stuck with a retard like me, most importantly being in a same girl's convent school. As years passed on, my growing up didn't make Shweta to stop calling me kaccha limbu. That did puzzle me,as I would enter into the room of the 'girls gang' one of them would scream, shhhhh!! kaccha limbu aagaya,chup chup,kaccha limbu, oh god! kaccha limbu again. I easily accepted it, not being welcomed in any irrelevant gossip of theirs. Yes, I was and am ever since then called and addressed as 'kaccha limbu'.
And my contact number is saved under the name of 'kaccha limbu pain in the neck' till date on their phones. Sigh! My version of being called 'kaccha limbu' but you'll sure find the actual story differ a bit from mine, parantu aap sirf mera story hi jaante hai,read and sympathize for me. Dedicated to all the kaccha limbu's in their family. ;)
-take care.

Iyer Sneha.